Dear New Mama,

Do you feel like you aren’t getting a moment’s rest? No time to take a shower, to eat something without being interrupted by a sudden wailing? And sleep? What’s that?? How was life before a baby (or a twister more like) rolled out and took complete control of it?! you may wonder.

Many have gone through this before and many still do. But when you are in the thick of it all, it is hard not to assume you are all alone in this. It is nice and necessary to connect with other mamas.

Motherhood is something nothing can prepare you for. When everyone asked me to get all the sleep I could before a new baby arrived, I found it funny! I thought I would be different, my baby would be different. Thank God I believed it, I enjoyed my first pregnancy in all that ignorance! I hope you enjoyed every bit of that baby inside you, the flutterings in your belly, the relief of listening to the lubdubs of a tiny heart beating, the excitement of the arrival of a new being into your life. It is all too precious!

Now that your baby is here, get all the help you can. You don’t have to do it all. You’re hanging in there, trying not to lose your mind. That’s more than enough. You don’t have to have a clean house, 3 different meals a day. You don’t have to be the perfect wife, the fun mama to your older child. These roles will be waiting for you whenever you are ready.

I know it is annoying when someone gives you advice (without your asking) or tells you to do something differently. It is hard to let it be. But know in your heart that it all comes from a place of love and concern for you.

Take time for yourself… go for a stroll, do some stretches, take a long shower, go for a drive. Spend time with that amazing person (you!) even for a few minutes.

You must’ve put your career, your everything on hold for this baby. Have faith in yourself and these words that it will be waiting for you to get back when you’re ready. If not, you’ll figure something out. A job that doesn’t respect a mother and raising kids is not worth keeping.

And you will eventually get to this other side where we’re waiting, rooting for you. Your baby won’t remain that cute, colicky munchkin forever. It will grow up and you will too. As you fret and fear and lose yourself in the muddle of mommyhood, take time to breathe, to resurface, to look around and cherish what you already have…

Love,

Your friend and sister.