Currently…(29/06/18)

Projects, Assignments, Tests, Dictations, what not… We (the kids and I) barely have time for free play, answering questions Madhav comes up with, listening to stories Medha weaves, for movies, for ice-creams, for simply meandering through aisles of stationery supplies, for doing nothing… What am I turning my little kids into?
A friend’s mother has been diagnosed with Invasive Carcinoma, which has us all talking and talking and questioning the ways of this World.
Madhav- “When I’m 8, Medha will be 11. When I’m 11, Medha will be 14.”

Me- “When you are 97, Medha is gonna be 100!”

Madhav- “What age will you be then?”

Me- “I’ll be up in the sky, smiling at you guys. “

Madhav- “No mama. You will be here only.”

Hugs me and we move on. Or at least I do. After a while he comes up to me and says, “You WILL be there mama. You will be dyeing your hair to become younger.”

I’m learning make-up and skincare, 2 things I vicariously enjoyed but denied myself, saying I’m too busy or I’m not so vain. But I hadn’t realized I was making myself unhappy by not doing the very things that made me happy. Like Julia Child said in her book, “My Life in France”,(I don’t remember her exact words, but..) I’m in my 30s and I’m still learning so much about myself.

We don’t have to have everything figured out. We just need to be willing to learn.

I’m a mess right now, what with so many things to do, but hardly any time to get them all done. You gotta see my to-do-lists. You will think, nah, you will KNOW that I’m crazy! I also know I just need a break, to come up for air. It will take time, but I’ll be OK.
Read “Eleanor & Park” . A sweet story of romance for young adults. It was good, not great. I wish I had read it long ago. Maybe I would have liked it, but now, the romance didn’t resonate with me and Eleanor and her household kept depressing me. Reading “Strengthsfinder 2.0″ and this line kept me thinking…

“you CANNOT be anything you want to be-

but you CAN be a lot more of who you already are.

-Manasa